I used to religiously write (annually) failure reports before, but somehow during the pandemic, I lost the enthusiasm to accept my failures and mishaps. After watching Ali Abdaal’s “How I Failed in 2022” video, it motivated me to resume my annual habit of introspection and acceptance of my untenable ambitious goals. It takes lots of courage, they may claim, to accept failures in the social media forum, but I care less about the adverse impact that it’d have on my relationship with others professionally or personally. (I will post later how I dealt with these issues.)
- I failed to take time off after my pet died. I was too engrossed in my thing, and as in the past, I tried to push it deep inside me so that I would forget it, and then when two new puppies that I took care of passed away, I felt the world crushing me with the guilt and emptiness. Sometimes I feel I am spiralling into the darkness. It is a struggle, even now, to see the bright side of the world.
- I failed miserably when I hesitated to take a stand on a few things, such as demanding the expense and management of my farm, not asking for clarifications, fearing I might embarrass the person, not supporting issues that I deeply cared about, etc. I wish I had been adamant when dealing with some personal issues, but it scared me to speak up, fearing the disapproval of those who were around me
- I lost the momentum/enthusiasm to see the completion of my few projects. I started a podcast and but after two episodes I felt it required more time and energy (on planning and execution — I had no dearth of ideas but the meticulousness of the projects required not only time but external help and initially that was not financially feasible) that I had to abandon the idea of being behind the mic. I was invited to write chapters of two separate books, but procrastination and imposter syndrome tempted me to give up.
- I seem to have a mind similar to a monkey on a trapeze. It loves distractions and swings towards different and irrelevant things. I do not have an ADHD problem (yet), but I have difficulty focusing on my agenda. My doctors attribute that to (countless) prescription medications that I take, but it’s ME! I am involved or start too many things at once. And I accept that multitasking is not my forte.
- Despite doctors’ warnings, I still have not prioritized being healthy. Somehow, I feel it’s at the bottom of my list. I accept that my health is deteriorating and I should do something about it but the “I will not live forever” thought overtakes “You Only Live Once” and then I lose interest in maintaining my health.
Of course, there are more where I failed miserably, but these are the top five on the failure list. However, to have a positive mindset, I need to learn from my failures and try to ameliorate the situations that instigated me to fail.
Thinking Out Loud 