Goodbye Toto

They say things happen for a reason, but sometimes some inexplicable events hit you so hard that it takes a while to get out of the shock. Within a few months, I witnessed the death of Toto, our beloved dog and then got the heart-wrenching news of the end of two young souls – Daisy rani and Brunoji – that we were planning to bring Canada once we figured out the legality of bringing pets from “red-zone countries.”

Pets become family members; for us, Toto was more than a family member. He became a companion who’d always be there with no selfish motive… a partner who kept all of us amused with his silly antics… an enthusiastic walking partner who would drag you (we enjoyed his dance when he heard “walk,” and we had to whisper if we intended to take him out for one)… a voracious eater who loved human food and enjoyed Momo… a friend who was there for support when we needed someone most.

He was a silly dog who loved us, and we loved him. As he grew old, he lost teeth, but that didn’t stop him from eating anything, and he devoured everything. Last six months, he had developed wheezing and coughing, and he had trouble breathing. He had developed a “selective” cataract—he’d see the things he wanted to see and ignore other things. He had seizures, and we thought we had lost him, but he fought back. (Toto had typical health-related issues common in Yorkie – Periodontal disease, collapsed trachea, Legg-Perthes, and pulmonary edema.) Maybe he wanted all of us to be with him (his favourites – Pratima and Sudu were in Nepal) when he decided it was time for him to leave us.

I still remember the day when he decided to leave us. He was in a rush to get out of the house. Sudu got him back, and He went limp in Pratima’s arms. We all gathered around him. We tried our best to resuscitate him by giving him CPR. He looked at us. There was a forlorn look in his eyes as if asking us to let him go. It was difficult, but we could not force him to stay with us forever, no matter how much we wanted our dearest and nearest one to be with us.

It’s been hard for us to cope with his absence. We still feel that he would be at the door to welcome us. Sometimes l would hear the pitter-patter of his feet or him coughing – l know it’s my imagination. Even though he’s not with us, he will be in our hearts and memories forever. Goodbye Toto! May you rest in peace. Thank you for your love and company.

Recommended: Watch the movie “Goodbye” to understand the loss and how a family comes together to cope.